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Today, I was pissed that I got a £60 parking ticket so rang my friend to rant about it. I then got pulled over by the cops for using my phone, and was fined £120.
#2
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Comments (1)
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2/21/2011 at 1:09 PM
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Money
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Today, I finally taught my mom how to text message people. Now I get a message from her every 30 seconds saying "Hi"
#53
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Comments (5)
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3/16/2011 at 2:55 AM
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Family
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Today, my parents came to the restaurant I work at as a waiter. After, I picked up the check to realize they had left me a $500 tip! We split the tips among the employees so I only got $50 back but I was still psyched. When I got home they asked me if I had noticed that they used my credit card.
#17
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Comments (2)
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2/23/2011 at 8:08 PM
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Work
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Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?"
Patient, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time,"
The Doctor nods, "Hmm."
P atient, "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times. You didn't hear them and you don't smell them, do you?"
"Hmm," says the Doctor,
He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription.
The patient is thrilled "Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?"
"No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test."
#21
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2/24/2011 at 9:52 PM
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Funny
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I've been making profiles to pit my ex boyfriend against his exgirlfriend. I've made up numerous profiles and friended her just to look at her pictures.
#22
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Comments (1)
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2/24/2011 at 9:56 PM
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Revenge
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One time while I was in the military, one of my superiors use to leave his toothbrush in the staff bathroom. After he ticked me off one day, I took his toothbrush and brushed the crack of my ass with it and put it back. The next week he stopped leaving it in the bathroom. I think he must of tasted me.
#24
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Comments (3)
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2/25/2011 at 4:38 AM
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Revenge
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Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males.
#4
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Comments (4)
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2/21/2011 at 1:39 PM
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Weird
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Today, I went to the dentist. After drilling my teeth for what seemed like hours, he gave me a long speech about how if I continue to smoke, the yellowing of my teeth won't be the only problem. I don't smoke. I never have.
#5
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Comments (0)
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2/21/2011 at 1:48 PM
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Health
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I have loved you since I was 16. You were the first boy I met that cared, was fun and didn't treat me like dirt. I dream of you sexually every night even though i have a boyfriend. So many times I have tried to confess it but I am gutless. I will always love you and your cute smile and the way I feel when I hug you. Your scent makes me feel so alive. I wish I could just admit this to you
#27
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Comments (0)
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2/26/2011 at 11:24 AM
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Love
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Some people are born to make others miserable, these people are bullies! They try and ruin peoples happiness and their confidence and at the end of the day, what are they....Bitches! I rise my head above them and am thankful for every day that god brings, I have a beautiful family, friends and I enjoy what I am doing, and who I am.....I will not let anyone get the better of me!
#56
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Comments (0)
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3/30/2011 at 12:15 AM
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Revenge
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